Plain Jane

What's your "type"?

A tall brawny man who does manly things like change light fixtures, carry boxes, and flex his guns? "Which way to the gun show, ladies?"

Or a quiet book-type who spends afternoons indoors reading, relaxing, and soul searching.

Perhaps you go for a mixed bag. Large guns, big brain, strong attitude and sense of self.

As women, we're inundated with images of what we "should be". In magazines, on television, movies. Even our friends around us force us to stay ahead of the curve with the latest fashions, fragrances, designers.

What "should be" also comes in other forms. Travel (wait, you haven't been to Paris yet?), dining out at hip restaurants, and being the cool kid - think grade school. And not the years where you ate paste (that is in fact not cool at all).

In my most dysfunctional relationships (and now I'm talking about all relationships - not just limited to tools), I found myself second guessing myself. I was immediately concerned with my exterior and seeing how I stacked up to others.

Now you can argue that some of this has to do with self confidence. If you eat paste, maybe you could work a bit on your social skills (or at the very least your palate). And we do in fact build self confidence as we get older and learn more about who we are, what we stand for, and what we simply wont allow.

But most recently I've found myself in a situation where I am accepted (and loved) exactly as I am. No fancy designers, no extra blush or lip gloss, just pure simple single girl. Have I stopped doing some of the things that I did before like wear cute tops and jeans (the single girl uniform)? Nope.

But I have cut back on the things I realize now that I just didn't like. For example, I hate wearing high heels. I mean really hate. They're uncomfortable and I'm already almost six feet tall. Why should I shove my pudgy toes in a less than comfortable shoe?

All I'm saying here is do a little self inventory. If no one was around and it was just you. Who would you want to be? What would you want to do with your life? How would you change your decisions moving forward if no one told you what to (or not) do?

Maybe you'll discover a new you.
Maybe you'll discover you love every detail.
Maybe you'll pick up and move to a new country.

Or maybe you'll find out that some minor change can make a world of a difference.
Single girl suggests you find out.

Valentine's Day Snuggles

Valentine's Day is right around the corner. The local super market has entire aisles full of Necco hearts with phrases forced to fit. There are balloons with things you would never say to a real person like "Be Mine" and "I'm Yours". There are street vendors selling celophane-wrapped gift baskets with furry teddy bears sitting on top of coffee mugs tied with gaudy satin bows. A steal at only $10 (for the little one - big one is much more).

Maybe this year you're spending Valentine's day solo. Last year my very dear friend from South Miami came to visit me in Chicago and we spent the night watching movies, drinking wine, and consuming way to many movie-size boxes of candy from TARGET.

The evening started with a home cooked meal of baked garlic, baguette, and some really stinky cheese. A couple of bottles of wine and (yes, there's more) homemade chipwiches. And if you don't know what that is, shame on you. But email me and I will give you the homemade recipe.

After our "meal" my friend put in her favorite movie called "The Notebook". Now I'm not a romance fan. The love that lasts forever, can never be seperated, blah, blah, blah. After a couple of glasses of wine we were both crying (me more than her, yes I said it).

The night ended with (I think) more wine and a wobbly walk to bed.

What's the point of this long story?

Valentine's Day is a holiday that builds pressure. It creates a self-evaluation of sorts. We're single and on that day single is not an option.

I encourage you to challenge the rules of the day. Spend the day with the person or thing you love. A movie, a homemade chipwich (no judgement), whatever floats your boat.

Bernard and I will sit by the fire, and watch some TV.
And yes, there will also be snuggling.

-Single Girl