Convenient Excuses for Why Relationships Don't Work

I haven't really talked about the "he's just not that into you theory". If you saw the original SATC episode where Miranda had an epiphany about dating guys that never call back, you know that he's just not that into you can in fact be true.

But don't be fooled by the phrase. It comes in other packages, neatly wrapped boxes with bows, and of course random phrases that you will find yourself sharing with your many girlfriends.

He's just not that into you. Hmmm...

After the break up of my very long term, very rocky relationship a dear friend gave me the book and told me I should read it. I came home from work, plopped down on the couch (plopped as in elastic waist band pants in full effect) and started to read.

I sat there for 3 and a half hours and read the book cover-to-cover. I have mixed emotions about the book. There are some things that are no brainers, not rocket science, and unless you're an idiot (sorry ladies) should be fully aware of. There are other concepts that are just a little too simplified for my taste.

Things that make sense:

- If he's not calling you, he's just not that into you: Fair enough. If you don't hear from a guy for weeks on end you're probably not top-of-mind.

- If he's married (and not to you) he's just not that into you: Ok this is the one where I let out a huge "Duh!".

Things that I have mixed emotions about:

- The guy should always pursue the girl. I'm an independent, strong, and assertive woman. If I like someone they will know it. In the same respect, if I don't like them they will surely feel my wrath. Kidding, I've just always wanted to say "feel my wrath"

- If he's not calling you, he's just not that into you: yes, I know this was in the list above. But a literal interpretation of this would mean that you have to talk to him ALL THE TIME. How will you go to work? Brush your teeth? Pluck your eyebrows even? If you ALWAYS have a phone attached to your head.

- The simplicity of the book is a little too... simple?

This is what I mean. One thing I've learned about relationships (and probably the most important); They are complicated and above all else they are private. What goes on between two people is best understood by those two people.

Ladies we've been there; Share something embarrassing about your guy and your girlfriends support you any way you roll. Have a friend who gets cheated on? We tell her she can do so much better.

At the end of the day, and the convenient excuses for why he didn't call, YOU have to feel ok with what is happening in your relationship. Be prepared to hear your friends opinions and thoughts - but you make the choice. You decide if an every two week convo is enough or if you need more.

You have to be happy.