Single Girl Fall Down, Go Boom.

A week or so ago I went to the Cubs game on a Saturday afternoon. En route to the ballpark I was feeling incredibly optimistic. The wind blowing in my hair / helmet (or helmet hair really), a beautiful sunny day in Wrigleyville, and the sounds of the beer vendors offering refreshing Old Style. Warm days in Chicago are unbeatable.


Roughly one block away from the park a car stuck in traffic decided to abandon their ride and walk one block to the park while the driver parked the car. They opened their door on me. No, I wasn't doored.


I was a quick thinking single girl, and I swerved to avoid the mishap. What I did not know was that (in true Cubs traffic fashion) there was another car a foot in front which I not-so-gracefully plowed into the back of. Rubber met bumper and I was thrown over the handlebars, head first into a rear windshield, followed by a graceful roll onto the ground. 


Damages were minor, with the exception of a slashed leg and slightly bruised jaw (nothing a little concealer can't cover up). But the feeling I had lingered for days after.


The passenger blamed me ("There's no bike lane here lady!") and the woman whose car I dove into cleaned me up with Neosporin, band-aids, and a bottle of water. "Can you tell I'm a mom?" she said. "Amen for you," I said and hobbled off to the game.


The point of this story is 1) watch out for d-bags who open their doors in the middle of traffic in Wrigleyville, and 2) be prepared that in life we can get doored at any moment (or thrown off our smooth ride head first into a suburban woman's car).


In all seriousness...


The ride I've been on recently has been amazing. It has taught me things about myself, things about others, that I can feel a certain way and not be completely jaded by my past experiences. My most recent ride has been inspiring and has renewed my faith in the good in people. 


My ride ended abruptly.


It was a shock at first. I couldn't believe what had happened. I was stunned.
And then I realized what had happened, and I was crushed.


I'm still recovering and mending my wounds. Still a faded mark but almost fully healed.


Would I have avoided my ride knowing that it may not end perfectly? Should I have opted to stay home and feel safe, protected, and sheltered from the world. 


Absolutely not.


I was strong. I opened myself up to the possibilities of an amazing experience...
And I found one.


Single girl pulls herself up. Wipes the dirt and gravel off of her bike.
She gets back on, straightens her helmet (for protection) and rides off. 


I don't know what I'll ride onto next.
But I know I'll keep going.

Sourpuss

When I get into a running groove, my tongue sticks out of the corner of my mouth. The strange stares along the running path remind me to: 1) open mouth; 2) push tongue back in; 3) continue cardio; 4) repeat if necessary.

When I get really focused on a project I look very angry. It's not uncommon for a stranger walking down the street to tell me "Smile!". I'm knocked out of focus (and slightly annoyed because now I'm distracted) and I give them an innocent smirk that says, "thanks person I've never met before.  Oh, and BTW mind your business".

Does your mood affect your attractiveness?

When I'm sad I look tired. A sleep-deprived single girl requires a good spackling of under eye concealer and an even better blow out.

When I am feeling positive and happy, the energy is undeniable. My danish knees (I'm not danish but my knees look like pastry rolls) are thin and athletic. My split ends run for the hills, and my teeth shine like pearls.

My size 10 frame becomes that of a super model and I am flawless.

How do we control the visual impact of our emotions? When we are sad should we hold back tears so no one knows we're struggling? When we're angry should we throw things and yell?

I think it's unhealthy to lock these feelings away. To hide from the world what we're really going through can build up and cause emotional explosions. Holding things in not only creates internal turmoil but when you do finally explode (or implode, no judgement if that's how you roll), there is an aftershock, there are casualties, and there is damage that can never be undone.

But will you see me throwing myself down on the floor in self-pity?

Never.

Disclaimer: I said you won't see me. It could happen. But trust me when I say, you won't see it.

So go ahead.

Cry/Yell/Scream/Laugh/Shout it out.

We'll look the other way and be here when you're done.

Seasons Change

When I was in 7th grade I sported some of the most bizarre hair styles you could ever imagine. Single girl rocked brat braids (google it), corn rows, high pony tails and spiral curls.

In high school I worked at the GAP and my style changed from around-the-way-girl, to standard khakis and royal blue dress shirts. My idea of dressing up was a denim skirt and a polo. It was casual and simple. 

College days came around and I went through a crazy identity crisis. I showed up to the dorm in a tie-dyed hemp dress, and wrapped up freshman year in club clothes and heels.

The point of telling you about these changes? First, be careful who has a camera. Don’t pose proudly wearing a North Carolina Tarheels jersey and your hair matted to your forehead. Second, much like fashion, things in your life will change.

What was your favorite shoe in your early 20s? How did you define “dressing up” in your teenage years?

My love for the boot cut jean changed with my hips and a once comfortable stiletto, now accumulates dust in the back of my closet.

During any given fashion craze, I thought that my choice of apparel would be a life long commitment. At the age of 60 I’d still be rockin’ out in hemp clothes, smoking pot, and listening to Lauryn Hill.

I was wrong.

Things change. And our wants, and more importantly our needs change too. If you asked me six months ago if I’d spend the rest of my life wearing jeans and a cute shirt, I’d say yes.

But jeans and a cute shirt don’t always fit the frame. On occasion, our “go to” staple does not go to us.

We are left feeling confused. 

We are lost in a sea of clothing – searching for something that fits and not really understanding why that same outfit that fit so well is no longer a perfect match.

I’m not here to tell you what to wear, how to style your hair, or what color suits you.

Just know that from every phase in our (fashion) life, we are learning. 

We are loving. 

We are discovering who we are and what we deserve.

We are often times lost.

Sometimes we are found.

But always know that we are wonderful.

Friend Finder

There's nothing better than a good friend.

Okay, maybe some sort of edible something or other. A cookie cake, perhaps?
But when the cookie cake is gone, and your single girl pants no longer fit, who do you call on to support you (not physically of course) and help you through the tough times?

Please don't tell me your answer was "vanilla ice cream".

Single girl has had her share of finding comfort in cookie cake or a friend in french fries. These days single girl eats food because it's tasty and not because it fills a void.

To be completely honest though, this single girl's friend pool is a little on the dry side. It's slim pickins in the world of BFFs and homegirls. They are few and far between.

How do we find friends that will last a lifetime? The friends I had in grade school are no longer around. The sleepovers and secrets shared between girls during school days have disappeared.

Facebook has reconnected me with a couple of people and we've stayed in touch. For others, I was "friended" and that was about it. Note: Single girl broke-up with Facebook about a year ago and hasn't looked back since.

I'm on a mission for a system that helps me find a best friend for life. A BFF if you will. A person I can call on when things are down, when I feel low, or when I just need a hug.

I want to use the same technology that matches life partners on eHarmony and Match.com to find a friend of my dreams.

WANTED:

Friend who enjoys shopping, days at the beach with a margarita. Long runs on the weekend, short drives to the grocery store for junk food and movies (not romantic comedies though). Someone who follows through and understands that when I fail to, it's not a reflection of my friendship - it's just part of my life. A friend who always calls back. Preferably someone I can put into my Fav 5 (AT&T subscribers need not apply). Last, but certainly not least, she should be a size 10, an 8 during the summer months so we can easily swap wardrobes.  Serious inquiries only. Tools need not apply.

Broccoli Mouth

Nothing gets a reader like a good title.

I had a first date a couple of years ago and met someone for coffee. It was casual, fun, and seemed like things were going really well. After 45 minutes of coffee talk, I made a smooth transition to the ladies room to check my hair, eat a breath mint (coffee breath = bad), and of course... pee.

I strutted my way into the restroom, did all of the above, and turned to the mirror to wash my hands.  I had a huge coffee grain stuck between my two front teeth. It had eyes and it's own set of teeth and it was looking me up and down. Taunting me. "How could you not notice that I was wedged in the front of your mouth?"

Embarrassed and slightly annoyed that my first date hadn't mentioned it (was he going to just let me walk around the city all day with a mammoth coffee bean blinding everyone?), I maneuvered the bean out of my mouth and walked out of the bathroom.

My date seemed relieved. Not only was I sans bean, the pressure on him to tell me was gone.

What's the protocol for this sort of situation? If it's a first date is there an obligation to tell the other person that they have a small farm hanging out of their mouth? Or is it too weird because not only are you just meeting this person, you're probably not in a place where you feel comfortable calling them out on their dental faux pas.

From one friend to another, I am totally telling you what the deal is. In grade school my friend and I used to have a secret code.

Scene: My friend and I eating spinach
Me: Is it going to rain today? (motioning towards my mouth)
Friend: Nope, clear and sunny (read: no, you don't have spinach stuck in your teeth)
Me: Phew!
Friend: Is it going to be windy today?
Me: Girl, there's a storm comin' through.. and it's attacking your mouth
Friend: Be right back (read: going to the bathroom to get it out)

As friends we owe it each other to tell a best bud when they're in a situation that's embarrassing (yuck mouth, bad fashion choice, awkward hair day).

As a first date I think its pretty much up for grabs:

Good guy with lots of potential? Kindly tell him he has something in his teeth, laugh off, repeat if necessary.

Bad guy who won't get a call back? Keep him away from a mirror at all costs for as long as possible. Perhaps take a photo with your camera phone and upload to Twitter.

Just sayin'.

Single Girl Rides

Two weeks ago I bought a new bike. It was basically as much as my mortgage. Ouch. Single girl needs to work on a budget.

I rode my shiny new Giant Defy home on Monday and it was awesome. The wind in my hair, the sounds of the city, and the calories burning with every RPM.

About 20 minutes into my ride I barely dodged a taxi driver swerving to make a left hand turn - from the far right lane.

Then a lovely gentleman spilled his entire cup of coffee out of his window, just as I passed his car. He should've yelled first. There should be some universal sound for "I'm throwing my coffee out of my window so you better watch out 'cuz this stuff is hot!".

Riding along the streets of the windy city gives me such a sense of empowerment, strength... bad ass. I swerve between cabs and buses. I stop in the pedestrian crossing areas, and I get all lance armstrong on the drivers of Chicago.

When single girl ran 6-7 days a week, I also felt the same way. A back injury and three months of physical therapy have forced me to pursue other athletic interests. I've fallen in love with riding and as a result have signed up for a triathlon.

Falling in love with an activity or hobby can be an exciting experience. It can also be expensive. Bikes are not cheap!

But stumbling across something that excites you, something you look forward to, (outside of another person) is freeing. You can go to it whenever you want, spend 7 days a week with it - we won't judge! Part of your new love for [biking, swimming, running, knitting] is that it embraces you, it doesn't reject, and it just makes you feel good.

I'm 1 week into my training (6 days a week no less) and I feel better than ever. Strong, confident, cool like Lance. On a side note, single girl is ridiculously hungry all the time. Woke up at 4 a.m. and could've consumed at least a medium pepperoni pizza.

More training updates? They're comin'!

Play-by-play eating habits? Eh, maybe not.

We've Got Sumthin' in Common

Single girl has been off the running trails the last few months and instead working out some post-marathon issues in physical therapy. Single girl's pants are tight. And when I say tight - I really mean ti-eeeeeeght.

My physical therapist is two years younger than me, super sweet, smart woman who recently ended a long term relationship. The guys she dated cheated on her (sensing a pattern) and she has been trying to get back out there to meet new and interesting people.

As I did my butt strengthening exercises (they're called clamshells in the world of PT) and longed for a run on the cold pavement, I listened to her tell me about her experience, where she is in her life now, and who she hopes to find in the very near future.

I thought of the other (almost identical) conversations I've had with other women that have had some relationship end and find themselves in new territory.

We often times find ourselves listening to a stranger, a best friend, a co-worker and identifying with their story. A broken heart, a wonderful experience, a sad end, a happy beginning. We share our experiences with other women and connect with our experiences. Not judging. Pure understanding.

Single girl has something up her sleeve. Brewing a little something...

How do we take this connection and make it available to the single girls everywhere. Support eachother during our tight pants, our good times, and our bad ones.

Stay tuned....