This sounds like a recommendation to not do any dating right now. Which works out perfectly because no one is asking me out anyway. Awesome.
Close to two months single (again) and I don’t really have the desire to meet anyone new. Don’t get me wrong, I tried but it just didn’t feel right. I think I just need more time. Or perhaps I should be putting that energy into something else like training (30 days and counting til the big race!) or spending time with my friends. Chicago summers are phenomenal, and with today’s weather being mid 80s and sunny, I feel like it’s a calling to get out there and just enjoy myself.
The pressure of meeting someone can feel like the weight of the world – especially when your friends and family (who are really wonderful people) are always asking you about your dating life. Deep down they want to see you happy but it creates this weird pressure of wanting something, even needing something that you don’t really want – or need.
How long after a break-up before you should “get back out there” and try to meet someone new? There are rules – I googled them. There are different schools of though, of course. Some believe you should start dating the next day. Wow, that’s fast! Others think that as soon as your ex starts dating so should you. Hmmm, okay. And finally, those that have used a mathematical formula for dating; Take the amount of time you spent with a person divide in half and that’s the amount of time you need to “get over it”.
I have to object to this one. So that means my long-term relationship of 6 years would’ve required that I take 3 whole years not dating. What! That’s just wrong dating mathematicians. So wrong.
I say wait until you’re ready. Perhaps, occasionally dip your toe in the dating pool and see how the water feels.
Ice cold? Jump out immediately, go for a run, have coffee with a friend.
Tepid? Test it out, cautiously. Use those cute little floaties if you have to! Comfortably hot? Dive in – just don’t get burned.
-S. G.
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