A week or so after a break-up the thought of a run-in gives me heart palpitations, perspiration, and a feeling in my stomach that feels like its eating itself. Perhaps that will be the next weight loss craze?
Months later (a couple of weeks if I’m lucky) I’ve recovered with just a little bit of sadness and instead of feeling crushed, I feel more powerful with a side of sadness.
The difference between running into an ex one week after the break-up compared to one month can be huge. One week and you probably have a bottle of vodka in your pocket and a roll of cookie dough stuck to your face. One month and you’ve likely been hitting the gym. Your biceps are cut, your skin is flawless, and you’re (hopefully) sporting a super sexy jeans and t-shirt (maybe even a side of new man? You go girl).
Picture this:
You were dumped one month ago but you’re getting by. You’re walking down the street and WHAM! You see your ex coming towards you. You’re 90% sure that he hasn’t see you yet but what do you do?
There’s a large bush two feet away that you could dive into but it could make for a painful afternoon. You can cross the street? You could look in your purse for some random object at the very bottom. Or you could walk right up to him and say, “Hello”.
What’s the protocol for the first run-in after a break-up? Do you think that your reaction should be based on how things ended?
I’ve always tried to be graceful. Aside from shedding a few tears post break-up, I’ve always tried to take the high road so I can actually show my face months later when I find myself on a city boulevard with ex boyfriend and nowhere to run.
Last summer I ran into my ex of 6 years and was completely cordial. One might argue I should’ve kicked him in the shins and ran off. I opted for a simple, “Hello. Good to see you” and “take care”.
A couple of crucial rules of thumb for your next run-in from Cosmo:
When you’re the dumpee: Cosmo says, “If you bump into the guy who emotionally gutted you” (great use of words Cosmo), “put on a brave face… no telling or crying”. So smart and advice we can all use!
When you’re the dumper: Can you say, awkward? If you were jerky when you did the ambush dumping, don’t expect a warm welcome during your run-in. Be prepared for a cold shoulder – a big one.
When you’re still kinda tempted: If deep down you were hoping this would happen (meaning you plan your outfits everyday based on the chance you’ll bump into him) try to get back in touch with reality. Make a list of the reasons you were not meant to be. And of course, compliment yourself on picking a stellar outfit.
And if none of these options seem like real options, then I say take that nosedive into that bush and wait a good 10-15 minutes until he’s gone.
No judgment.
-Single girl
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