Friends with Benefits

First off, I haven't heard this term thrown around since I was in high school. I was surprised to read online that 1) people still do this and 2) people still call it by that name.

As a young adult it had a certain sort of appeal in sound. It was mysterious. What were these benefits that these friends were sharing? As an adult it just confuses me. Is this friend with benefits an HMO or PPO? Are you limited to one person with a $10 co pay or are you free to go anywhere you choose and get stuck with a large bill. I could go on and on with this analogy but I'll keep it PG13.

About.com posted a letter from a woman who wrote in explaining she was interested in turning her "friend with benefits" into her boyfriend. He was clear that he didn't want a relationship with her - and she was clear that she did.

Fair enough.

Walk away.

Try again.

But instead she continued to offer up her "benefits" with the hope that one morning he'd come to his senses and realize that she was in fact the girl for him. I think she is still waiting for this happen, hence her helpless plea to solicit advice from the about.com community.

When expectations are set they are then followed. If you present yourself as wanting X and then one morning ask for Y & Z? You might find that the other person was perfectly happy with your original expectation.

That's not to say that things can't change. I'm learning more and more that rules don't really matter if you're interested, if you care, if you love.

One word of advice Ms. PPO waiting for your HMO to step it up;
You can't make someone do something they don't want to do. And you can't get full coverage when you've already signed up for something different.