Left Holding the (Bridal) Bag

(Written 7/13/09 10:00 p.m.)

This evening I'm on a plane headed to the west coast on a direct flight to Seattle.
I’m not jet-setting in the true sense of the word but I will order myself a strong V&T (that’s a vodka tonic for those of you who aren’t cool).

The woman who I sat next to (who is now sleeping and snoring simultaneously) told me she was in town for a reunion with girlfriends she hadn’t seen for close to 30 years. “What brought you to Chicago for your reunion?” I pried half-interested secretly hoping I could fake a deep sleep once we took off. “My friend’s daughter was supposed to get married this weekend but her fiancé canceled the wedding four days prior.

Ouch-a-ma-goucha.

Out of no where, I smelled a deliciously fragrant blog entry forming. She went on to tell me far more than I really should’ve known. I felt like my hair dresser who knows way too much about me. If gossip had a price tag she’d be charging me a hell of a lot more for my partial highlights and blow out.

“Go on girl”.

And she did. I learned about the fiancé’s gambling problem, his insatiable desire to never move out of his mom’s house, and his poor credit score that made him unable to co-sign on their newly purchased condo.

After we took off and she fell asleep I felt guilty – but also inspired to tackle the topic from both sides. As a woman (and if you are one reading this entry you probably still have a look of horror on your face) we immediately are angry at the guy. “How could he do such a thing?”

But let’s really dissect this one. The whole living with your mom thing just screams “run” especially at 32. Yes, I also learned his age.

But the cancelling of the wedding four days prior? Yes it’s hurtful and unforgiveable. But what is the alternative? This guy marries the girl, cheats on her, is unhappy, gets a divorce anyway and she’s left holding the bag.

This girl clearly dodged a bullet. A nuclear missile perhaps. Before we go judge and assume he’s a loser, dirt bag, jerk, or pond scum even – think about the bigger picture.

You say, “That was so wrong, girl!” and then put some more foils in this lady’s hair.
I say hurtful indeed. But at the end of the day she deserves better.

And as cliché as it (always) sounds on the receiving end, everything happens for a reason.