You've got a fast car...

Is there a new trend happening that I don't know about? Have my female comrades left me out of the loop intentionally?

The "I'm a man with a lot of money and I will try and use it to get you" trend? I swear I didn't see it in last month's Cosmo. I must be out of touch.

I dated someone (short lived) who threw around brands like they were going out of style. He should've just walked around with a sandwich board that says "I paid way too much for everything I own just to try and impress you. And it's not working".

Fast cars? Wow - so you overpaid for a big piece of metal that still needs an oil change, can still have flat tires, and when the sun is blazing hot and humid, your butt will be sticking to your seats. That's hot.

Fine dining? I'm blown away that you buy bottles at a 500% mark up just so you can sit down at a club with people that are half your age. Please let me sit too.

Oh you travel? You flew 20+ hours to an exotic location to beer bong and take pictures of women in their bikinis. I'm finding it more difficult to resist you.

Please stop.

Disclaimer: I do not want to date (nor will I fall in love with) a guy who is unemployed, without transportation (I'll ride on your handlebars!), or who eats Spam every night.

I'm in the market for a real guy. Terribly sweet, romantic, dips me in the middle of the street, and brings flowers on the first date - even if it is corny.

Price tag of the aforementioned first date: $20 max for flowers.
My respect and interest: Priceless.

I don't want to know what you can buy before I know what you stand for.

Show me you care, before you show me your car.

Please.

Stop.